Екатерина Халецкая

It is the second year that I live in a country where Islam is practiced by majority of its citizens. And the second time I observe the holy month of Ramadan and the following Eid holidays. Although this time during Ramadan I was traveling around the world (Congress in Malaysia, then back home to Russia), now I am enjoying Eid holidays in my current home, the Sultanate of Oman.

Wikipedia will tell you more about Ramadan and Eid ul_Fitr.

Luckily, my team and I got an invitation from Nasser (an Omani friend) to visit his village, Dhabab. Just came back from there:)

It was lovely to experience Eid in this place! The village is located outside Muscat (the capital). We started our journey at 5 in the morning, and were welcomed at the place by local people with Omani halwa and Arabic coffee at around 7am.

Very soon men of the village were done with their morning prayers in the mosque, and were coming back singing songs and shooting rifles. Guests (especially newcomers like me and my team) were following them with a lot of curiosity:)

After this procession, we went to Nasser’s house to have a light breakfast of fruit and sweets, which followed by traditional and familiar for me ritual of putting henna on hands.

Anjali and Gail with local women and children

Local girls putting henna on hands

The set up in the village is very interesting. There is a concept of guest room which is usually separate from the main house. It is a different building, smaller than the house and has only one room with cushions on the floor, TV set and a bathroom. The explanation I got is that guests are not invited directly to the house in order not to disturb the family, especially their women, and for the host family not to worry about the atmosphere, as all efforts have already been put to decorate the separate guest room:)

Sitting room in Nasser’s house

Breakfast was one of the six meals we had that day, which included second breakfast in another house, then three lunches at the neighboring houses, finishing with the dinner back at Nasser’s.
I got opportunity to talk to local people, men and women, observe their traditions and taste delicious local food.

Small Ahmed, dressed like a typical Omani man in white disdasha with a hat kuma

Some interesting observations:

• Men and women are celebrating Eid separately in different rooms. Sometimes men were coming to women’ place, but it didn’t work vice versa.

• Women have bright dresses for Eid, very different from what we see during a usual day in Muscat.

• Some sisters have completely the same dresses! Anjali and I looked like we knew about this option before:)

• Most of the people in Dhabab come to their village only during weekends or holidays as they study or work full time in the capital, Muscat.

• I was talking to a local girl. I: “Your dress is very beautiful!” M (responding to my compliment): “Your eyes are beautiful”. I (thinking): “Oh very nice, it’s not often that I hear something like this about my eyes!” Later on, when I repeated my dress compliment to her in front of another girl, M. said back again: “Your eyes are beautiful”, and then explained that in Oman a person make a compliment about the eyes to the one who pointed out to his/her beautiful appearance:)

• And I definitely like this nice Omani style water tanks on the roofs!

All in all, the day was full of food and exciting conversations:)

In the evening, we went to the beach nearby, sat and talked for a while looking at the stars (appeared like an explosion on the sky, along with a new born moon) and the fire, listening to the water waves behind untill eventually fell asleep right there on blankets.

In the end of August I attended the biggest international conference in my organization – AIESEC International Congress in Malaysia.

It was the second International Conference I took part during my AIESEC career.
Similar to the previous one, IC in Malaysia reminded me that I am in AIESEC for a reason, and if I am here than I responsible for bringing the change to the society after I finish with AIESEC. It might sound superficial, but for me it is much more serious than it sounds.

At my first IC our chair (master of ceremonies), David Pollay, showed the audience the picture of his daughters and said: “I came to chair this congress to empower people who will create the better world for my daughters when they have grown up”.

At the recent congress, another person, Arthur Johanson, gave similar message saying that he wants to see the better world around, and this is why he flew from Colombia to Malaysia to chair this conference.
I had a break in AIESEC and then came back, because I wanted to get a life-changing leadership experience to be able to bring change (I felt I hadn’t fully taken it in the past). And if I am here, I will never be a usual corporate worker. I am responsible for bringing change to whatever I do.

I would like to share some moments from the IC that stuck in my mind:

…Juan, President of AIESEC International for 2008-2009 led a session with report for his term in AIESEC international. He started with the basic principle of his which is a promise. He asked the delegates: “Tell me, what have you promised to people last year and what have you delivered?”. He was giving the mike to randomly chosen people in the audience asking them this question. It was an interesting moment of truth. Being honest with myself, I realized that I delivered on some of the promises, but didn’t fulfill all of them that were important for me and for people I led last year. And being the person who respects promises more than anything else, it was not an easy thought to experience. However this question gave me the power and push for my current role and reminded about giving 100+1% every day. Easier to say than do, but at least I am striving:)

…There are sessions at the International Congress, when Presidents of all AIESEC countries make decisions to improve the working process of global AIESEC. In the beginning of this session, the chair makes a check-point to make sure that representatives of each voting country are present in the room. When it was a turn of Russia, Victor (current president of AIESEC in Russia), said Ya zdes’ meaning I am here. Many country representatives before him had said this in their own language or in English - I am here  - however this simple Russian expression Ya zdes’ reminded me about here, now, and pay full attention to what is happening in the present moment. Ya zdes’ every moment, every day.

…We had a session called Leadership Journey where Aman (current president of AIESEC International) asked us a few interesting questions about leadership. I remember two of them the most:
- Are you leading or following how things were in the past?
- What is your leadership challenge?
Great insight and discovery

…Youth to business forum. This forum was organized to connect AIESEC members with representatives who shared their opinion on 3 different topic: entrepreneurship, sustainability, and labour mobility & diversity. I attended the workshop about social entrepreneurship to understand if I am passionate about this topic, and realized that I am not that strongly passionate to work on the problem of poverty, although I have seen a lot of it in the past year and know how worse it can get. If talking about social businesses, I am more interested in learning/educational ones.

A few more observations:

- It’s great to work with and connect to fellow AIESEC Presidents from other countries
- I really enjoy being with my team
- I like to stand up and express my opinion in the plenary of 600 people, even it is often a challenge for me to do that

And.. Kuala Lumpur is a great city: fast, efficient, and super green!

I am now back to Muscat and will give you some interesting updates very soon.

Leaving Pakistan was a real adventure.

In short: my visa got expired and no agency could issue a plane ticket to Oman for me. According to the rules of Ministry of Interior I could overstay in the country for 2 weeks after visa gets expired. An interesting thing though is that I can stay, but not leave the country, how smart is that! There are no fines apply to this, the only way to prolong the visa was too apply for its extension. However extension for my type of visa takes 2 weeks in the best case scenario, and I could’t afford to wait for so long.

By some luck (as it usually happens in Pakistan - God blessed country), I got a contact of an emigration service at the airport and they let me go to my flight (I booked it online to avoid visa request).

After a year in this country I knew that here in Pakistan everyone creates their own rules, there will always be a rule for you, and there will be someone in your endless network of contacts that will suddenly help you before you even realize that; all with the help of God (InshAllah)

I arrived to Muscat on the 4th of July, the Independence day of the United States of America. Very symbolic indeed: there are 6 Americans in my new the house. Some of them are working for AmidEast, an organization set up to bridge the gap between US and Arabic countries. The other part is working for AIESEC.

Extreme heat embraced me right after I stepped out of the airport. It was different from the one in Karachi, more similar to Lahore: not humid, and much much stronger, like as I jumped in the oven!

Some of the observations of my life here in Muscat:

• I made banana shake, automatic washing machine washed all my clothes in 50 minutes, cooked Pakistani tea in 5, and had an awesome sleep in an air-conditioned room. It can sound funny, but after our apartment in Pakistan I was impressed how easy & simple life can get.

• All streets are very clean, roads are nice, green grass and palm trees are everywhere around, along with big buildings, monuments with Oman national symbols and white villas.

• Muscat is very different from all cities I have ever seen. There are several highways crossing the city connecting small oasises of life with each other. Each oasis has a few coffee shops, office buildings and universities. It takes 20-30 minutes to get from one oasis to another.

• It is so hot during the day that I live in the AC rooms, cars and shopping malls. All people seem to be doing the same, so there is almost no one on the street. I feel as I am living in the long tunnel made of thick glass which I can not break.

• Tristan (my team member) and I went for a walk around our area (Mawaleh) in one of the evenings when heat is getting cooler (around 10pm) and got lost. It was a nice walk though; physical activity is always a great thing!

• We came to Arabic restaurant and took rice with meet, which we all ate with hands from one big plate in the middle. Arabs are very clean: they wash their hands before food, unlike Pakistanis who wash hands after food only:) I don’t mind any. I really like eating with hands.

• We went to a beach to see big green Omani turtles. Our instructor from the scientific institute explained that they do not disturb turtles’ life, they just do research and create conditions to let animals live happily in the nature. Omanis are taking care about their country and all its inhabitants wholeheartedly.

• The portrait of His Majesty Sultan Qaboos bin Said is on the all of every building we go. His Majesty has served this country for 30 years, and led a great development that Oman has ever seen.

• Omanis do not use titles like Mister, Miss etc. that I have got used to. I can simply use You, unless I am speaking to a Royal Family member (His Highness), a Minister (His Excellency) or Sultan Qaboos (His Majesty) himself.

• Shops’ labels are both in English and in Arabic. It’s interesting to see how they are using branding in both versions:)

• Girls greet each other by extending a hand. When I walk in a room I should greet everyone individually - it is a friendly gesture. If anyone is late for a meeting, he/she would nevertheless greet everyone in the group. Being friendly is something absolutely necessary in Oman.

• Walked in the mall and saw women dressed in black and men dressed in white.

• Came to a meeting in shalwar kameez. It is considered as an official outfit here in Oman. Extremely happy, I have taken all my favorite ones with me!

• I have met more expatriates than Omani nationals so far.

• Pakistani workers came to our house to fix AC. There are many of them traveling around by bicycles. I went to the airport in the night and suddenly thought that I am in Karachi: loads of people in brown and grey shalwar kameez were stocking arriving passengers:)

• Went to lunch at 1pm and came back at 6pm. The Cafe we went is located near the beach, so after food we went along the cost line; Muscat looks like a tourist resort even in a busy working day!

• And by the way, the working week in the Sultanate is from Saturday to Wednesday.

I have a challenging mission over here - to lead a young organization, an extension of AIESEC to Oman. AIESEC has been in Oman for 2 years, and I am the first President of AIESEC in Oman.

I will be working directly with two people: Tristan from Australia and Anjali from United States, two amazing individuals whose passion for work and life is so strong that keeps them doing great things whatever they have to do. I know we will make a legendary team, and looking forward to see it happening.

We have around 50 talented members in the organization at the moment, and a high ambition to build an exciting platform of opportunities for them and achieve outstanding results together.

Apart from that, I am learning Arabic, traveling around Muscat and its surroundings on weekends, and reading Girls of Riyadh.

Life is good.

Arabic-style lunch

My new home

Visiting Muscat Grand Mosque

During my last days in Pakistan I went for a trip to Northern Areas of the country, with Shermi, Andrius, Zhen and Sheeraz. It was a very special vacation, different from what it would have been, had we taken a travel guide or used one of the common routes. Our initial plan didn’t work out well, so we started to plan on the way: in odd 10+ hours buses, hostels without electricity and gas, and near the endless mountains, forests and rivers, breathing the air we could only dream about living in Karachi. All in all we visited Naraan, Kagan and Hunza Valley.

I would like to share with you some special moments from my trip.

Sheeraz and the family.

Andrius and Sheraaz went to buy train tickets for a journey from Karachi to Islamabad. There are two types of “groups” in Pakistan transport (and other outdoor places): male and families (mixed males and females). So the tickets were issued not for individuals, but for “Sheeraz and the family”. Although it might sound funny, but it turned out to be the truth. Throughout the trip Sheeraz (the only Pakistani in our group) took care about us during days and nights: organizing breakfast and lunches-dinners at local places, buying bus tickets, making contacts with the right people so we could visit most interesting places for the lowest price, keeping an eye on us during sleepless nights in a bus from Naraan to Gilgit and so on. Yet the international “family” contributed in their own way: attracted an interest of local people who barely saw foreigners in their entire lives, and we got special attention in everywhere we went.

Breakfast in Rawalpindi.

Rawalpindi is a twin city to Islamabad, and the place where we were about to take our first bus to north, Naraan village. It was an early morning when we arrived to the bus station, so we went to a daba (local food place) to have breakfast.

I: I am taking an egg, paratha, and Pakistani chai.

The rest of the guys took chai only: food in such places must cause stomach ache.

Zh.: Do they have a mango shake?

Those who know how Daba looks like, must be smiling

Later one, while traveling in the northern areas, we were eating the same “egg-paratha-chai” for breakfast every day and chicken karahi (meat) every lunch and dinner, with locally made bread, accompanied with noisy flies. We ate in places that have old beds instead of chairs, newspapers instead of tissues, and bathrooms where you can’t enter with open eyes and nose.

There were no much variety in food, let alone mango shakes and ice-cream that our funny Zhen was looking for everywhere

Breathtaking views.

Buses took us from Rawalpindi to Mansera, and then from Mansera to Naraan. There was nothing special for the first 2-3 hours, except a free improvised Urdu songs concert in a bus by its Pakistani passengers, which I really enjoyed:) however after some time we saw something that caught our attention for the next hours and then days – mountains. Strong, cold, peaceful, scratching the sky, - these huge stones are fantastically beautiful.

Later on, we climbed them on a jeep on the road lying many kilometers up from the ground, as well on foot to lakes, glaciers and valleys. We drank water coming from their tops and looked at them endlessly for many hours every day and night.

No light, no gas, no hot water – but we are in the mountains!

In Naraan we stayed at a very interesting place – Youth Hostel located a bit far from the other hostels, on a hill facing – guess what – mountains. We decided to stay in this particular hostel because we stayed in the same one in Islamabad, and already had membership cards. Our loyalty to the Youth Hostel was so strong, that we didn’t back out even after realizing that the hostel didn’t have neither electricity nor gas, nor hot water which meant we’d sleep under 3 blankets, warm up chai and food on the fire, and boil water for 3 hours in a pot to take a shower. In the evening of the first day in the hostel local police inspectors from Naraan came to visit us. They were very much concerned about “foreigners staying in such place”, and suggested to place us in any hostel around for free of charge. We thanked them and.. stayed in the Youth Hostel:) during the first night I could barely sleep because of the cold, so woke up around 5am and went outside to do morning exercises, then climbed the hill and sat for about an hour listening to a water fall.

At nights we were watching the million of stars. It seemed like all stars were taken from Karachi and Lahore busy cities’ sky and placed to the sky of the Northern Areas.

Sunrise in Hunza.

In Karimabad (main city within Hunza valley) we spent one night in The Eagles’ Nest hostel located on top of a high hill from which we could see the whole Hunza valley. For many years people have been coming here to see sunset and sunrise.

Shermi and I woke up at 5am and climbed up on a hill. It was still too early for a sunrise, but we were so worried to miss it that came earlier than needed. Soon the first light touched Rakaposhi mountain (the highest in Hunza), then more and more till the hole valley was full of light. It took the sun more than hour to do it, and during this time I had the most meaningful thoughts. Sunlight… There is a pose in yoga called “the mountain”. It is one of the basic poses; it teaches to stay and look straight pretending to touch the sky with your head. Top of the mountain touch the sky first; those who woke up early and strive to heights get blessings of the sun. Sitting on this stone on a hill in a valley, watching sunrise, I am getting sun blessings too. Who are the people I am thinking about when I am looking at the sunrise? These should be the people who are the closest and dearest to me. I should be wise with my thoughts and think of meaningful people and meaningful actions. My time on this earth is limited, and I should spend it wisely. Sounds of the nature are very peaceful. Soon they will be replaced with sounds of cars and people walking around the city. I will take present moment to listen and take deep breaths.

Other trip highlights

Lake in the mountains. This lake lies up in the mountains, and we had to climb them till we finally saw it. Climbing was the most tiring yet exciting part of the route! On its end we took lots of pictures and tried locally made green tea – kawa. It is quite cold over there and the lake is half-frozen. Absolutely amazing!

The bus from Naraan to Gilgit was hilarious. Crappy chairs, bags everywhere, loads of people sitting even in the middle between chair rows, a road so bumpy that you are about to fall down from your seat, I am not even talking about reading in a bus. Our bus stopped in the middle of the night to repair the tire. Unable to sleep, Shermi and I went to take pictures of this occasion.

On our way back from Hunza to Islamabad we found out that Karakoram highway is blocked: villagers went on strike against local administration and police because of the death of one of their neighbors. Our bus was the government one, and Karakoram highway is the only way between Northern Areas and Islamabad, so we had to go back and wait till the strike finishes. While waiting, we visited a local village in Aliabad.

We went to upper Hunza to watch tops of the mountains. Suddenly we saw a glacier down the hill. Our guide said he takes only climbers and trackers to the glacier. But we were so determined to get there that forgot about the fear.

We were supposed to get back to Karachi on Monday, however trip plan got messed up and on Sunday night (in fact – 2am on Monday) we were sitting in Youth Hostel in Islamabad thinking how we’d go home as we had no tickets back. Flights seemed very expensive, especially in travel agencies (compared to Internet) and Sammi Daewoo bus – too tiring with its 24-hours journey. Soon we realized that bus station is not working at night, let alone air travel agencies. Not having any other option, I tried to log in my mobile Internet (that was not working properly before and didn’t open websites of Air Carriers). And – suddenly – we saw the lowest fair offered by Air Blue and the option to pay through internet. At 2am in the morning we were booking tickets through mobile phone paying with the credit card we had to activate through a bank (due to robbery cases in Pakistan all cards are blocked for Internet payment usage by default and should be activated for 1-2 hours when needed), and at 9am of the same day we were sitting at the airport having breakfast and waiting for a flight that would take us home – to Karachi.

This trip was one of the most memorable moments of my year in Pakistan. Who knew that “the country of emergency” where most of the people are afraid of going, would have such authentic, beautiful places with pure nature which can make you a different person after you experience them. Surprisingly, many Pakistanis have never been to the Northern Areas.

Sadly, we didn’t get a chance to visit Skardu, a city in the North that has beautiful forts and lakes; and the book I am reading is about life in Skardu. The flight from Islamabad to this city is very famous: you get to see K2, second largest mountain in the world. InshAllah I am going to Skardu next year for my vacation who is in?

I remember the feeling I once had on 2nd or 3rd day in Pakistan.

I was traveling in a rickshaw (local transport - small decorated moving box:) for the first time, observing sand-color houses, armed guards, crowds of people, and waving flags on the sides, with wide-open eyes and wind in the head.

3 days before I was living in a city of 24-hours lights, 17th floor restaurants, 12-hours working day, and life-long careers - all planned year-by-year with % of salary increase.

And - boom! - I am on the other side of the world: sea-smelling, right-to-left writing, and totally overwhelming by its not-yet-discovered nature.

It felt like I was beyond the space & time, as well as the age, lines in the CV, career plan and amount of salary. In the other words, it did not matter how old I am, where I live, and the title that is written on my business card. What did matter was who I am right here, right now.

Pakistani friends did not understand me when I tried to explain this feeling to them: “I have no idea what you are talking about, Katya!” Maybe it is because I was on “another planet”, and they were in their own country they had been living for over 20 years. Or maybe (as I later found out) they were too busy with planning their Masters abroad or applying for “multinationals only”.

Yet I remembered that feeling, and from that time onwards, when I find myself doing years-age-salary-title comparisons with the help of mathematical formulas, I make the feeling live again, and continue walking my way - which is beyond arifmetical logic.

Ahsant! I started to take Arabic classes.

How it happened. When I was in Lahore, I got an email from Mariam with the brochure of Arabic course. Timing was fantastically perfect: 15 days starting from 6th of June till 21st, so I decided to give it a shot.

First of all I called the teacher to find out details about the course.

I: As’salam maleikum.

Teacher: Waaleikum assalaam, sister.

I (surprised by the title): May I know the structure of the course and expected outcome? What will students know by the end of it?

Teacher: It’s the course from the University of Medina, course for beginners.

I (not getting the point): Do you think I will be able to speak basic Arabic by the end?

Teacher: InshAllah.

I (still trying to get more details): And.. Will I be able to read and write basic things as well?

Teacher: InshAllah.

Frankly speaking, I expected a different answer. Objectives of the course, main topics, desired outcomes and so on, you know. Alright - I thought - lets follow the will of God.

I: May I know how many students are expected in the class?

Teacher: 25 students, InshAllah.

I: Thank you.

When I came for my first class, I saw our Arabic teacher with whom I’d spoken on the phone before. The Teacher is a middle-aged man with a beard. That day he was wearing white long kurta covering all his body.

The classroom had 4 rows of chairs, a white board, a case with several books, and a big green plant in the corner.

I sat down on the first row, to be able to see what is written on the white board. Soon after other students started to arrive, mostly guys, sitting next to me. Having noticed that, the Teacher said: “Brothers are sitting in the front, sisters are sitting on the back. Please change your places accordingly”

“Interesting” - I thought - “Learning the language is indeed a good way to get insight on the culture”.

After passing a short message to God in Arabic (probably asking for support in studies), the Teacher started the lesson.

The Teacher: “Brothers and sisters, I will tell you 3 reasons why someone should know Arabic.

1 - Arabic is the language of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and the holy Qaran that we are following.

2 - The country where Arabic is spoken is perfect: it has excellent fruit, excellent buildings and excellent people.

3 - Arabic is the language we will all speak when we go to an after life stage.

Know you see why we all must know this language”.

I was so impressed by the description of the excellent country and “after life” Arabic talks that even forgot my own (quite materialistic!) reason for learning this language.

During the next 2 hours we were not speaking English - only Arabic - with the help of all things around the room, our enthusiastic Teacher, and his drawings - magically appearing on the white board cats and hourses, ships and planes, plates and glasses, men and women, and Arabic letters.

Sometimes the Teacher was asking each of the students one by oneto stand up, replace him in front of the class and take his role - asking the rest of the group questions in Arabic (for practice). Interestingly, when I was out there, guys barely looked at my eyes! They were looking everywhere, but not at me, however answering all my questions. It is something I was not expecting. I knew from experience that even amongst Pakistani (~Muslim, conservative) people “avoiding eye contact” behavior is not being practiced very often.

Anyways, it was almost 8pm - namaaz (prayer) time. The Teacher asked the group who would like to pray. All men spread the prayer mats on the other side of the room. Women kept sitting on their places, so the Teacher continued the lesson with only women till the time men were done with their rituals and we all resumed the class for another 30 min.

Another surprise came by the end of the class, when the Teacher gave us the study books. They were to open and read from right to left, and … in pure Arabic! Arabic script is very similar to Urdu, so other students could easily read everything that is there. So for them it’s like studying Arabic in Urdu, their native language. Yet I have the double fun - studying Arabic in Urdu, and not even in English, both far from my mother tongue. Luckily, I also know an Urdu script thori-thori (basics), thanks God I had a really nice Urdu teacher back home:)

All in all, I absolutely loved the class and looking forward for the further ones. Which are btw happening every day for 3 hours;)

Who knew that in the country where you can hardly hear this word, it is actually everywhere around.

There is a “thick atmosphere of latent sex” as Emma Dunkan, British journalist, puts it in her book “Breaking the Curfew: Political journey through Pakistan” that I am reading these days.

“There is sex in men’s eyes as they follow women - local as much as foreigners - down the street and the doubles entendres of their conversation”

I found it familiar. Every day on the way to the office I feel those “…male stares that mix curiosity, hostility, misery and lust”. On the street and inside - wherever I go.

…

When I arrived to this country, 2 male colleagues of mine met me in the apartment. One of them was Pakistani, and the other one - a foreigner. First one gave me a welcome hug. Suddenly the other guy screamed: “What are you doing with her?!” I learned that in Pakistan guys do not usually hug girls.

During my first week in Pakistan I got more dinner invitations than during my entire life.

One of them that I accepted with the only intention to get-to-know the company where a guy was working, turned to the car tour around Karachi with the guy telling me how we will happily live together in our small house. Having showed no signal for that sort of discussion, I seriously thought it was a joke. But it was not, and the story followed by the red flowers presented to me by the guy. Accepting the flowers meant that I take our ‘relationship’ very serious and agree to continue it. All this happen within 2 hours.

Another guy found me through a social network and messaged asking how I was doing. Being a polite person, I replied to him, kindly asking back who he was. I also shared my opinion about Pakistan and how I like my experience over here. Not surprisingly, I got an invitation for a coffee to discuss “how our organizations can cooperate” which followed by an invitation to a breakfast in his flat and attempt to do closer hugs when I insist on hand shaking only etc.

When I once complained about it to Mariam. ahe told me not even talk to the guys who message me on social networking sites. Its quite difficult for me though as when someone approaches me, I take it as a normal polite action - to reply. Mariam said local girls never reply to such people, and guys don’t even try approaching them like that. Yet common perception of a foreign girl is “easy”, so guys do not hesitate when they see such a chance.

Some guys prefer actual meetings to internet. Once I went to my favorite Zamzama park. Walking in the circle road I suddenly heard someone calling me “pathan girl!” It was a young guy who looked like a foreigner: white skin and different complexity than a usual Pakistani. He turned to be from the Hunza valley, the North of Pakistan, where people generally have a fair skin, and a student in Karachi university. He seemed like a nice person, so we continued walking together on the jogging road. Next day I realized how silly I was having given him my mobile, as I received the following sms: “I am so bored, come to the park” and a few calls after that which I didn’t pick up. Poor guy, he couldn’t imagine that my house mate Lylee is creative enough to share with him a romantic story about me and my “husband”. These days, when I see him on the jogging road, I prefer changing the direction before he even sees me.

Another guy that I randomly met on the street when my international house mates and I went to Air Force museum, was very nice to show us the way. It was Bogdan who talked to him first, but all his attention after that was focused on - guess who? Unfortunately not Bogdan. While we were walking in the open air museum, I mentioned that I was leaving the country in 2 months. A guy made the saddest expression ever: “Are you leaving me in 2 months?…” I am sorry, what? Who am I leaving in 2 months? We met 1 hour ago and only because you knew the way to a museum! Later on, I kept receiving sms’s like “I feel like meeting you now”. He is a really nice person, by the way. I can see he is kind and modest, and I wish we could keep in touch, maybe he could join us for dinner or another cultural trip in Karachi, who knows. But he really messed it up.

With all these I let alone cases when random men call and message on mobile with texts like “Who are you?”, “Call me back” and so on. Just right now writing this post, I received a text: “Hi Kathaya, sorry for disturbance i want learn english my speaking power is very week . where r u from ? again sory”. I have no idea where this person got my number from. I practiced my Urdu skills on one of those strangers. Main tapr maroongi aur tumhari gardan cut doongi. Theek hai? He never called back again.

The most frustrating experience that I’ve had was at the networking event. The purpose of it was for CEOs of around 100 largest companies in Pakistan to exchange business cards and congratulate their fellow managers who got promote for high positions. As my organization is recognized as elite one over here, Saaim (a colleague of mine), and I got invitations to attend it. Everything was very professional while Saaim and I were introducing ourselves and organization together, until we split in two different directions to increase the coverage and get more contacts. The first men that I met near one of the cocktail table nicely asked me who I am and how I like Pakistan. After that I explained him what I do, and about organization I am working for. As usual, we exchanged business cards. He seemed very interested and then suggested that maybe we can meet up for a evening coffee… to get to know each other, relax, and - of course! - discuss opportunities for cooperation. I politely said I was leaving the country, and unfortunately didn’t have time for such meeting, and had to cancel his calls on my mobile during the next day.

And can you imagine how this usually called?
Friendship. Some of the claims that I hear “Why don’t you come for a breakfast? We are friends right? We should get-to-know each other better!” or “What is the level of our friendship, from 1 to 10?” (on the second day that I’ve known a person). Every second guy over here is looking for such ‘friendship’.

Several times I was so pissed off about all these that I showed my anger to all the male population. In one of those days a guy who had added me on Facebook before, messaged on gtalk. I was not very talkative from the beginning, but still listened to his story and talked a bit about my designation here. He seemed to be a nice person, until the phrase: “sweets I am getting off”. Feeling something behind the words, I fired up: “do not use these with me, ok? Do you usually speak like this with Pakistani women?” I got so angry that went on and on. Maybe he didn’t mean what I thought. But now I barely trust anyone in such matters.

Having said this, not all guys here are the same. For instance, all members of AIESEC behave in a very decent and respective way and I have never experienced anything of that sort with them. I also have friends outside AIESEC whom I trust, and they are really decent people. Besides that, the general attitude of men to me as a women is adorable. I am enjoying my own space in the elavator even there are 5 men around. In other accasions, they also give women go first, open doors, and ready to help if I can’t find the way.

Anyways, by the end of the year I became so modest, than I can hardly give a hug to non-Pakistani guys, even knowing that for them this will not mean as much as for Pakistanis. I prefer keeping a distance and extend my hand to them instead. I do not look in the eyes of men on the streets and cover my head every time I feel it could help me escape from their stairs.

Mariam calls it “cultural experience”. I remember cultural theories and “sexuality” as one of the dimensions, and tend to take it easy now. Let it be so, and I’ve already learned something. Now bas, leave me alone:)

One month left till I leave Pakistan. The closer this day is, the more I think of what I will miss in this country…

Shalwar Kameez (Pakistan national dress). They are for sure on top of the list! I have around 10 of them, and each is the only one in the whole world. When making my clothes over here, I can choose any color, style, design, add any details that I want. Such a common and not expensive way to be unique and express my identity.

Randomness. I meet a person at the airport and go to his family dinner in a same day, and it’s been one year since I am friends with them. I go on the street, and see cars, rickshaws, donkeys, and a lot of people - all rooming around in different directions with insane amount of noise. I talk to people and the topic of conversation changes three times in 2 minutes without any possible logic! This randomness might be really annoying at times, but it gives so much freedom and make me laugh at my surroundings and myself.

Karachi Mansion. Someone said our ‘mansion’ looks like a student dorm. Indeed, I sleep on the mattress on the floor (I like it this way) and warm up milk in the frying pan (the other pan is used for some other food at the moment). We used to wash our clothes by hands, then we got a washing machine and now water appears on the floor from ‘nowhere’. However we are lucky to have such nice people over there who make this house what it really is and what I will miss for the next … years, if not my entire life.

A view from a balcony. I like standing on a balcony in the evenings when thousands of lights appear in the darkness, making sand-color buildings even lighter in the night. There are usually no stars, but the lights, palms and sea breeze do the trick, and I get to think of all best things in the world.

Zamzama park. Parks are not very popular in Pakistan. Especially in Karachi which is quite dry, not very green city. But this one is fantastic. Zamzama park is located 5 min from my house, costs 5 Rupees per entry, and with all these makes life so much better! It has got roads for jogging where you can see how much kilometres you’ve done, it has got milk shakes and benches. Big circles on the side are used for jogging, but the space in the middle has entirely different environment. One can see children playing ground, a small praying area, tents for ‘couples’ (at least they look like it!), huge palm trees and monuments. Everyone could find its own space and fun.

Rickshaw rides. Small and noisy boxes with adventurous Pakistani drivers usually traveling without shoes and the sense of order. Lahori ‘green’ rickshaw are better for environment and have doors, really nice. I like talking to rickshaw drivers in Urdu too. I don’t know what to miss in them, but it’s difficult to imagine how to live without them.

Desi (local) restaurants. Plastic chairs and tables. Sometimes they have tables with pillows where you can sit without shoes. Loads of people talking and laughing. Waiters running around. Delicious meat:) eating with hands. Eating so much that can’t stand up, but still going for ice-cream after.

Azaan (call for prayer). I can hear it 5 times a day. Each time it comes from different mosques around the area. It is loud, but very peaceful sound that calms my thoughts and make me listen. I love azaan in the morning (5am) and in the night, when I am walking in a park or standing on a balcony.

These are some of the things I will for sure remember and miss from Pakistan. I feel there are some more which I’ll definitely share some other time, maybe when actually being away.

During the past month of trips to different cities, I was observing differences between students of LUMS (University in Lahore) and NUST Business School in Islamabad where AIESEC offices are located.

I noticed a few interesting things.

Life style:

• LUMS students wake up at 1pm and go to bed in the early morning. I suppose 90% of them live in the dorms on campus. They study 2-3 nights before the presentation. They get to choose cources they want to attend. They are rooming around all day long sitting in the cafes and stairs.
• NUST Business school people are studying from 9am to 3, maximum 5pm, and go home. Doors of girls hostels close at 8.30pm. Boys live in the hostel in another city, so travel home by bus in the afternoon. Majority of students live with their parents in Islamabad, and come to university in cars with personal drivers. Program is the same for every student in each year of study, and students do not have an option to choose specific cources they want to take.

During interviews for AIESEC exchange program:

• LUMS student (on average) would: be self-confident; have personal opinion and ready to defend it even if professor does not agree with it; will mention: “are you guys…” to the panel of interviewers of at least 2 people much elder than they are (teacher/businessman)
• NUST student (on average) would: be a little shy, prefer to agree with what professors say rather than defend their own opinion, mention “Sir” and “Maam” at least once in 2 sentenses.

Dressing style:

• Every time I come to LUMS I feel overdressed. Girls and boys are rooming around in T-shirts and shorts. I often hear “Why so dressed up today?” I do not even consider my typical office clothes that I wear in Karachi.
• Every time I come to NUST I feel underdressed. Girls are flaunting in silk shalwar kameez from Junaid Jamsheed (local designer) with impressive variety of colors and designs. I consider wearing my favorite silk dress that I usually use for Board Meetings and regret that I have only one of that sort with me.

Randomly meeting them on campus:

• LUMS student. Carrying huge study book (10 santometres width) in one hand, mobile in the other, and looking to the third side while talking to a friend. “Whats up man. I am very cool. And very busy. Didn’t sleep till 6am last night, studied hard! Lets go out for sheesha tonight?”
• NUST student. Sitting on a bench, peacefully chatting with 2-3 friends from the same batch. “Hey, how are you? I am fine too. My khala came to visit yesterday, spent time with her and the family. Oh it’s already 6pm.. Need to go home, talk to you later!”

Future plans:

• LUMS student (on average) is likely to apply for Masters abroad after graduation.
• NUST student (on average) will prefer working for development sector or one of the regional corporate offices in Islamabad.

I was remembering some silly and funny things that I did before arrival to Pakistan and during first 1-2 months of my stay.

These are some of them:

- Asking Nida before my internship if I can wear sandals with open toes in Pakistan

- Creating application for delegates at Pakistani conference. Question number 8: “Are you a vegetarian?”

- Being afraid to brush my teeth: “water must be poisoned!”

- Messing up dupatta (women’s scarf) and parata (bread) in my communication with people

- Accepting invitations for random dinners thinking “we are just friends!”

- Addressing elder person with first name only, without adding Mr. or Ms.

- Sitting on men’s side of the room and being reluctant to move even after waiter asked me to (in a coach-restaurant in a train)

- Wearing casual shalwar kameez on formal occasions and formal ones on casual gatherings

- Telling my secret to a really trustworthy person and finding out that half of Karachi knows about it on the next day

Now, looking back, these things really make me laugh:)

Some of them are connected to cultural differences that I learned after some time only. Some - with the fact that I was new to the things that are common in this country.

Anyways, I was totally confused at that time. How nice it is to now the rules:)