Екатерина Халецкая

One month left till I leave Pakistan. The closer this day is, the more I think of what I will miss in this country…

Shalwar Kameez (Pakistan national dress). They are for sure on top of the list! I have around 10 of them, and each is the only one in the whole world. When making my clothes over here, I can choose any color, style, design, add any details that I want. Such a common and not expensive way to be unique and express my identity.

Randomness. I meet a person at the airport and go to his family dinner in a same day, and it’s been one year since I am friends with them. I go on the street, and see cars, rickshaws, donkeys, and a lot of people - all rooming around in different directions with insane amount of noise. I talk to people and the topic of conversation changes three times in 2 minutes without any possible logic! This randomness might be really annoying at times, but it gives so much freedom and make me laugh at my surroundings and myself.

Karachi Mansion. Someone said our ‘mansion’ looks like a student dorm. Indeed, I sleep on the mattress on the floor (I like it this way) and warm up milk in the frying pan (the other pan is used for some other food at the moment). We used to wash our clothes by hands, then we got a washing machine and now water appears on the floor from ‘nowhere’. However we are lucky to have such nice people over there who make this house what it really is and what I will miss for the next … years, if not my entire life.

A view from a balcony. I like standing on a balcony in the evenings when thousands of lights appear in the darkness, making sand-color buildings even lighter in the night. There are usually no stars, but the lights, palms and sea breeze do the trick, and I get to think of all best things in the world.

Zamzama park. Parks are not very popular in Pakistan. Especially in Karachi which is quite dry, not very green city. But this one is fantastic. Zamzama park is located 5 min from my house, costs 5 Rupees per entry, and with all these makes life so much better! It has got roads for jogging where you can see how much kilometres you’ve done, it has got milk shakes and benches. Big circles on the side are used for jogging, but the space in the middle has entirely different environment. One can see children playing ground, a small praying area, tents for ‘couples’ (at least they look like it!), huge palm trees and monuments. Everyone could find its own space and fun.

Rickshaw rides. Small and noisy boxes with adventurous Pakistani drivers usually traveling without shoes and the sense of order. Lahori ‘green’ rickshaw are better for environment and have doors, really nice. I like talking to rickshaw drivers in Urdu too. I don’t know what to miss in them, but it’s difficult to imagine how to live without them.

Desi (local) restaurants. Plastic chairs and tables. Sometimes they have tables with pillows where you can sit without shoes. Loads of people talking and laughing. Waiters running around. Delicious meat:) eating with hands. Eating so much that can’t stand up, but still going for ice-cream after.

Azaan (call for prayer). I can hear it 5 times a day. Each time it comes from different mosques around the area. It is loud, but very peaceful sound that calms my thoughts and make me listen. I love azaan in the morning (5am) and in the night, when I am walking in a park or standing on a balcony.

These are some of the things I will for sure remember and miss from Pakistan. I feel there are some more which I’ll definitely share some other time, maybe when actually being away.

During the past month of trips to different cities, I was observing differences between students of LUMS (University in Lahore) and NUST Business School in Islamabad where AIESEC offices are located.

I noticed a few interesting things.

Life style:

• LUMS students wake up at 1pm and go to bed in the early morning. I suppose 90% of them live in the dorms on campus. They study 2-3 nights before the presentation. They get to choose cources they want to attend. They are rooming around all day long sitting in the cafes and stairs.
• NUST Business school people are studying from 9am to 3, maximum 5pm, and go home. Doors of girls hostels close at 8.30pm. Boys live in the hostel in another city, so travel home by bus in the afternoon. Majority of students live with their parents in Islamabad, and come to university in cars with personal drivers. Program is the same for every student in each year of study, and students do not have an option to choose specific cources they want to take.

During interviews for AIESEC exchange program:

• LUMS student (on average) would: be self-confident; have personal opinion and ready to defend it even if professor does not agree with it; will mention: “are you guys…” to the panel of interviewers of at least 2 people much elder than they are (teacher/businessman)
• NUST student (on average) would: be a little shy, prefer to agree with what professors say rather than defend their own opinion, mention “Sir” and “Maam” at least once in 2 sentenses.

Dressing style:

• Every time I come to LUMS I feel overdressed. Girls and boys are rooming around in T-shirts and shorts. I often hear “Why so dressed up today?” I do not even consider my typical office clothes that I wear in Karachi.
• Every time I come to NUST I feel underdressed. Girls are flaunting in silk shalwar kameez from Junaid Jamsheed (local designer) with impressive variety of colors and designs. I consider wearing my favorite silk dress that I usually use for Board Meetings and regret that I have only one of that sort with me.

Randomly meeting them on campus:

• LUMS student. Carrying huge study book (10 santometres width) in one hand, mobile in the other, and looking to the third side while talking to a friend. “Whats up man. I am very cool. And very busy. Didn’t sleep till 6am last night, studied hard! Lets go out for sheesha tonight?”
• NUST student. Sitting on a bench, peacefully chatting with 2-3 friends from the same batch. “Hey, how are you? I am fine too. My khala came to visit yesterday, spent time with her and the family. Oh it’s already 6pm.. Need to go home, talk to you later!”

Future plans:

• LUMS student (on average) is likely to apply for Masters abroad after graduation.
• NUST student (on average) will prefer working for development sector or one of the regional corporate offices in Islamabad.

I was remembering some silly and funny things that I did before arrival to Pakistan and during first 1-2 months of my stay.

These are some of them:

- Asking Nida before my internship if I can wear sandals with open toes in Pakistan

- Creating application for delegates at Pakistani conference. Question number 8: “Are you a vegetarian?”

- Being afraid to brush my teeth: “water must be poisoned!”

- Messing up dupatta (women’s scarf) and parata (bread) in my communication with people

- Accepting invitations for random dinners thinking “we are just friends!”

- Addressing elder person with first name only, without adding Mr. or Ms.

- Sitting on men’s side of the room and being reluctant to move even after waiter asked me to (in a coach-restaurant in a train)

- Wearing casual shalwar kameez on formal occasions and formal ones on casual gatherings

- Telling my secret to a really trustworthy person and finding out that half of Karachi knows about it on the next day

Now, looking back, these things really make me laugh:)

Some of them are connected to cultural differences that I learned after some time only. Some - with the fact that I was new to the things that are common in this country.

Anyways, I was totally confused at that time. How nice it is to now the rules:)

www.thecitizensfoundation.org

Sanober. Asst Manager Volunteer and Alumni.

I: Hi Sanober, I am Katya, thanks for inviting me to the school. Please meet my colleagues, Arsalaan and Zhen. They were interested to visit it as well so I took them along.

Sanober: Hi, nice to meet you all. Lets go. The lecture at the school is starting at 10, so we have one hour to get there. It’s outside Lahore.

…

In the car.

I: What kind of children are studying at schools your organization is running?

Sanober: Our schools are for children from villages. There are 6 of them around Lahore, but many more in Karachi. These are usually children from poor families. They study in the morning, then come back from classes and go to work to earn money for their families. They study only at classes, don’t have time for any homework. Teachers are giving them all material during classes.

…

I: I applied for mentorship program for the secondary level children in Karachi, but didn’t take part as they needed mentors who know Urdu very well.

Sanober: yes, unfortunately it’s true. First language of our students is a regional one (Panjubi or Sindhi), then Urdu, and only then - English.

I: I see. What kind of activities are you doing with them during mentorship program?

Sanober: There are several milestones. First one - getting to know each other and ice-breaking with mentors. Second - goal-setting: discussion on who each of them was before joining the school, and who is he/she now, then - who they want to become after mentorship program. After those discussions we organise activities on career counseling for them: taking them to designers’ workshops, film making studios, engineering offices and so on. When children become comfortable with mentors, they are opening up: telling them about their families. Some have parents that are in constant fights. Some are not doing well in studies. Some… Different issues. There are more difficult conditions for those who live in Karachi than in Lahore.

…

I: You described activities for career counseling in the mentorship program. So children can see opportunities and choose where they like and want to do?

Sanober: Yes. We also invite guest speakers who themselves come from villages, underpriviledged classes, but became successful in life. Today’s guest speaker, Bakhtiyar, is one of them. He comes from a lower class family, so he had to achieve everything himself, and now is a CEO of an engineering company here in Lahore.

I: Do the children come back to their homes after completing their education?

Sanober: Yes, most of them do. You see, we are not telling them that their conditions are bad or wrong. Suppose, I talk to a child whose father is a farmer. I will not tell him that farming is bad and he can do something more prestigious. I will encourage him to study, to learn, and then go back to their families and improve things. For example, how to do farming in a more efficient and sustainable way. They come back and bring the change.

I: Isn’t it difficult to come back to their home village after studying at LUMS [Lahore University of Management Sciences]?

Sanober: It must be. But that’s what we are preparing them for during their school years.

…

I: Who is working for your organization?

Sanober: We have volunteers. Interesting fact is that most of them are IBA students [Business school located in Karachi]. Almost no one from Lahore. People in panjab are not really interested in social work. If they do come to work for us, they are doing it mostly for their CV. But graduates from Karachi have a passion.

…

I: So in this school boys and girls are studying separately, and in Karachi schools - they are mixed?

Sanober: Yes. I wish they had been mixed over here as well.

I: Why do you think so? They are coming from traditional Muslim families, and it’s just secondary education. Why do you think they should interact with each other during classes?

Aralaan: I will tell you my opinion. During school years, when they interact with students of their own gender only, they tend to go to extremes later on. Some are getting over-interested in the opposite sex, and some become so shy that they are afraid of speaking to each other.

…

I: Thank you so much, Sanober. I learned a lot about life of this children, social differences between regions of Pakistan and got ideas for my future work in career counseling. I am so glad I visited the school.

This story happened half a year ago, but I remembered it right away when came to stay at Alishan’s house in Islamabad.

It was in November 2008 when Jeremy, Joan and I went for vacation around Lahore and Islamabad.

Isloo was our last point. We spent good 2 days over there and then booked tickets back to travel by Daewoo bus. When it was time to go to the bus station, Joan and I (staying at Amna’s place) came to pick up Jeremy from Alishan’s house.

We knew we were already getting late, and Joan was getting nervous.

We arrived at Alishan’s. Jeremy had still to finish packing his bag, so he went upstairs. While he was gone, Alishan’s mother invited us to the lounge and asked if we wanted to have some tea.

As the most passionate tea lover, I thought that I would have some. “Yes please”

Joan didnt share my passion. “Katya, how can you have tea when we are late?!?!”

“Hm, whats wrong, Jeremy is still packing his stuff!” - I thought.

In that moment Jeremy came down with his bag. Tea was not ready yet though. Joan suggested that we do not wait any additional second and leave right away. We sat in the car. Tea was not ready yet.

I was about to give up on having it, when Alishan’s mom came with chai served on a tray. So, we are sitting in a car and about to leave, and there is a tea on a tray. I had to make strategic decision. Right away.

Aunty was insisting that we took tea in a car and drink it on the way, so I thought “why not”. Joan was furious…

I knew that Jeremy would support me with the tea idea. I was right - Jeremy took the tea in the car.

So we started to move. It was fine in the beginning, except the fact that driver didn’t drive fast being afraid that we spoil the tea on our clothes or smth. It would have been fine, if Jeremy hadnt gotten a call on his mobile.

So Jeremy picked up his phone and started talkin not being able to drink the tea any more. His cup was still full, so driver was moving the car VERY slowly not to disturb Jeremy!

We were getting extremely late, we all knew that.

Jeremy was talking for good twenty minutes, and when he was done, we breathed - “now we will move faster!”

We did, but time was still ahead of us. Eventually, we got late for the bus Waited for 1 hour and got new tickets for the next one.

But Joan remembered it to me forever

This time, staying at Alishan’s, Jeremy, Mariam and I experienced the same hospitality. Every day we are treated with delicious home made food. Aunty even found out what food we eat in Russia and cooked some of my favorite: smashed potatoes, boiled rice with vegetables, Russian salad and non-spicy chicken.

I thought Russian people are hospitable. Come to Pakistan man

Visited Wagha ceremony yesterday. Wagha is a an area where the line between India and Pakistan was drawn in 1947.

There is a ceremony happening twice a day (morning and evening) on both sides of the border. Flag lowering ceremony. Read more about Wagha in the Wikipedia.

We arrived there at 6pm. Lots of cars and people, flags and national music. Heat. Famous “old man” is putting on his shoes and a shirt with Pakistan flag.

Man and women go to different sides. Our company split in 2 parts.

We were lucky to have VIP seats right near the main road.

Ceremony started and lasted for 30 minutes. Patriotic crowds, “Pakistan Zindabad” (Long life, Pakistan), Pakistani Rangers are so excited that almost jumping on the road. Open gates. Indian citizens on the other sides. Flags of two countries crossed and lowered.

Having read about partition times in books, watched movies and listened to what my Pakistani friends were telling me, ceremony made me very emotional. I was about to cry.

…

On the way to the border.

I: I wonder if there are any other countries that do such a ceremony. It’s so nice!

Laura: Well, it’s a paradox… knowing what kind of relations India and Pakistan have.

I remembered how much struggle it takes for Pakistani people to get a visa to India and vice versa, various attacks in 2008 followed by blames on Pakistan, and Pakistan - on India, - and agreed with Laura.

…

After the ceremony, on the way to the car.

I: It’s surprising how many people are coming to this event from both sides!

Arsalaan: Many people think it’s how they can express patriotism to their country.

I: I thought it is a friendship ceremony. Friendhip relations between Pakistan and India: “Whatever happens in politics, we will remember times when we were the same country”. But now I see it has a slightly different mood.

Arsalaan: Have you noticed how competitive they get during it? Who will shout louder and longer.

I: In the beginning right? Yes, I noticed that. Besides, Pakistani rangers are almost jumping when they perform! So excited.

Arsalaan: Yes they are. They want to show that Pakistan is strong and always ready to defend itself.

…

More pictures here

I am in Lahore. Went on a business trip on Saturday. As I work for not-for-profit organization, we travel on our trips by train.

I’ve traveled on Pakistani trains before, in autumn last year. The weather was dry and hot, yet it got really cold at night. Anyways, it was the first train trip, all my team mates traveled with me that time, we talked and laughed, so little ‘train challenges’ didn’t bother me much.

This time I had a closer look at the train.

I was with Mariam, my Pakistani team mate. We couldn’t get tickets for ladies compartment (here there is an issue of women and men sitting on one side of the room, traveling together etc.), so we stayed in mixed one. With really big guys who could hardly climb to the shelves upstairs. Luckily, they didn’t talk to us, just amongst themselves, holding hands and sleeping on each others’ lap from time to time (normal thing to do for guys over here, and they are not gay).

Economy class train has 6 sleeping places in each compartment and 2 sitting places on the side. Similar to Russian economy class (platskart), but Pakistani one has 2 more sleeping shelves. I took the middle one, Mariam - the one downstairs.

It was 5pm, we were moving for 1 hour already and I badly wanted tea with milk. Sometimes there are those guys with termoses pass by passengers and offer tea. So I took a cup from one of those. Tea was alright, yet has 2 black hair parts on the side of the cup. A bit weird. I asked for another cup, this one seemed clean.

I took time to read a book. “Ice-Candy Man” is a very nice one. It’s written by a Pakistani writer, and is about partition times from a perspective of a 8-years old child.

It got dark, I couldn’t read any more, so Mariam and I started to chat: her bad memory, what we learned during this year, ideal future job, democracy in Pakistan. I like talking to Mariam. She is very clever, passionate and always has an interesting perspective on things. She is one of those people with whom it’s a big luck to travel with. I would definitely go with her for 10 days camping. Once again, I thanked God that we are working in one team.
Eventually we became hungry. In fact, I became hungry - Mariam doesn’t it much. She can easily survive on chips. Mariam’d taken 2 sandwiches for me before the trip. I ate one right away. We put the other one on the table near a window.

When it was time to sleep, Mariam told me: “We should be prepared not to see our food in the morning”.

I: “How come?!”

Mariam: “Well, they might take it from the table”

I: “Who?!”

Mariam: “People who pass by the train when it stops at a station. Usual thing”
Sandwich was really nice, so it was not easy for me to accept the fact that I will not have breakfast in the morning.

I went to the washroom. It had no lock and no water - completely useless I went back to my bed.

Fact about the beds in economy class. They do not have any bedsheets. No pillows. Nothing except of a wooden thing where people are supposed to lye on. Knowing this, I took a pillow and bedsheets from home with me. Mariam did the same. We will also sleep in the same clothes which we are wearing right now. Mariam told me to cover my head and full body with a bedsheet. Lots of men around.

Going to sleep, I thanked myself for taking a pillow. And Amelia, my house mate, for buying this pillow for me earlier. It is really nice.

I woke up in the middle of the night. Moved a little on the “bed”. Window is opened. I looked at the table and didn’t see the food. It was just not there. I moved back, and - suddenly - pillow flew away! Oh no. The wind took it out of my hand and threw outside the train.
I was sleeping on my bag (which was really hard) and then on hands. Woke up at 6am, checked the table and saw the food under it. I thanked God that I will have breakfast and Mariam for protecting it under the table.

I ordered 2 cups of tea and continued with Ice Candy Man. Time passed quickly till we arrived to Lahore.

Having reached railway station, we went to buy tickets back to Karachi.

Mariam to a ticket officer: “I made a reservation for tickets, how can we get them”

Officer, looking at me and then back to Mariam: “Is she British?”

Mariam: “No”

Officer: “Is she Pakistani? Where is she from?”

Mariam (to me, leaving the counter in search for another ticket window): “Asshole”.

I experienced this many times. Pakistanis forget about the topic of conversation when they see foreign white girl.

There are people at the railway station who help to carry bags. They carry bags on their heads. 2-3 huge bags on the head - it looks extremely painful. We didn’t use the help of these guys this time, but I remembered how I first saw them during train trip in autumn. I was shocked.

We took a taxi to the house where we’d stay. Laura (nice blond Americal girl wearing Pakistani kurta, born in Germany and coming from The Netherlands 1 month ago) opened the door for us. I asked to show me the bathroom to take a shower. I have never seen so much dust on my body before.

Shower and 3 glasses of water did a trick. Life has become much better, and we headed for lunch. I thanked God that He gave me such an experience of Pakistani train. Its nice to have it once in a lifetime. Inshallah next time I will go by plane

Ехала в машине с работы, смотрела на Пакистан из окна и вспоминала свои первые месяцы жизни в этой стране.

Как я прилетела в 5 утра и попала в 35-градусную жару, от которой нечем укрыться. Как боялась чистить зубы, помня заветные “пей только из бутылок!” Как спала по 4 часа в день, так как ужин здесь начинается 10 вечера, а потом еще мороженое. Как не понимала 50% того, о чем говорят мои коллеги, и могла выразить на английском только половину того, что хотела. Как желудок сгорал от количества специй и недостатка моих любимых овощей и сыра. Как напрочь запуталась в своей жизни: кто я и в чем польза от меня окружающему миру. Как вставала с кровати с одной мыслью о том, чтобы день в офисе поскорее закончился. Как злилась на Jeremy по всяким пустякам. Как стеснялась и краснела, приходя на ужин в семьи коллег. Как не спала неделю перед конференцией, и заснула в кресле в кафе, встречаясь с аламни, которого пригласила провести сессию для ребят. Как забывала слова и имена людей - сочетания ничего не значащих звуков. Как делала глупости на каждом шагу. Как копила обиды, не зная, кому рассказать. Как хотела взять и уехать. Как…

И вспоминаю я об этом не для того, чтобы себя пожалеть.

Через много месяцев после того времени, я смотрю на все это другими глазами. Моя жизнь здесь наполнена огромным смыслом и радостью, каждый день.

И сейчас, смотря этим обновленным взглядом на ребят, которые приехали в Пакистан недавно, я с трудом понимаю их переживания, жалобы и оговорки по пустякам. “Ну как же они не могут взять себя в руки!”

Как легко забываются трудности, когда они пережиты. Полезно вспоминать то, что происходило со мной, чтобы понять других и помочь им.

Today in the morning I went to Machar colony, one of the poorest places in Karachi. My house mate Lylee from Rwanda is working for an NGO that takes care about the colony, so Lylee took Jana and myself for a visit over there. We call it “slums”.

The next few hours I spend at the office, and after that went to one of the largest business forums that brings together CEOs of leading companies in Pakistan.

During one day I have seen 2 ways of life, happening in 30 min drive from each other.